My Life As I Know It

Homeless

2010-08-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

For the past 5 days the Liskeys have been homeless. It started out as just a one day thing. Our contractors are scraping our ceilings, and on Tuesday night they said, "Well, you might not want to be here tomorrow with all of the dust flying around." So I packed a few things and headed down to my mom and dad's. Tomorrow turned into the next day, which turned into the next day, which turned into the next day. On Saturday, after 3 days of finding stuff in Orange County to keep the kids out of the house, we got smart and headed down to San Diego to take the kids to San Diego. Tonight we are back in our house, but it is still a mess with dust still everywhere and everything we own being in trashbags in our front room. It's seriously like we're moving. But there's no new house to go to.

The kids have been troopers, but after 4 nights of sleeping in other people's beds, they are ready to be in their own beds. They are sleep-deprived, over-tired, and melting as the days go on.

So it's time to get creative. Today I remembered an old episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight (don't hate me, but I like her as a mom) where they camped out in their backyard with the whole nine yards: tents, air mattresses, sleeping bags, and smores. So tonight, that's what we're doing. We'll be camping out in our big backyard. Hopefully, this latest solution will get us some sleep and hold us over until our house is back in order. We'll see.

Date with Mommy

2010-07-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth and Daddy went on a date to see "Toy Story 3," so Will and I had a date as well. We went to South Coast Plaza, rode the escalator 2 times, hit a great sale at Pottery Barn, went on the carousel, and had lunch at the Corner Bakery. Both parties were entertained - a key ingredient for a good date.

As I sat next to my son and he ate his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I realized that he is already two. Two. Two years have passed since I gave birth to him and he entered our lives. I remember life before Will, when it was just Mike and Elizabeth and me, but I cannot imagine life without him. He is such a character right now, parroting everything he hears, running everywhere he goes, cracking himself up at who knows what. He literally brightens my day when I see him running towards me. It's sometimes the best part of my day.

Mike and I have been having regular date nights this summer, but date nights with kids are just as important. They make us focus on the other person and appreciate the little things about them. I'd love to hear your ideas about dates with kids. What do you do?

Summer Lovin'

2010-07-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

Here are the things I love about summer:

Sleeping till 7 am!

Being with my kids from when they wake up until they go to sleep

Playdates with great friends

Getting stuff done around the house

Bike rides with the family

Picnic lunches with the kids in their "fort"

Barbeque dinners outside

Date nights with my husband

Watching movies that come in from Netflix

Writing in my blog

Reading books I've waited until now to read

Catching up with girlfriends I dearly love

Happy Summer everyone!

Elizabeth Singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"

2010-07-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

I have now tried for over an hour to post the video of Elizabeth singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to my blog, and I am sad to say I have been unsuccessful. So, I'll do the next best thing. Here is the link to the video on YouTube. (Hey, at least it got me to finally go on YouTube and sign up as a user!) Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XBaxrO6cGY

Bruin Woods 2010

2010-07-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

We spent our second week of summer at our all time favorite vacation spot...Bruin Woods! Now, as a Cal grad, I must state that my allegiances are always to my alma mater. However, when it comes to a fantastic, relaxing, and enjoyable family vacation, Bruin Woods takes the cake. We had a fabulous week of swimming, eating, and clapping (the 8 clap, that is). Elizabeth was in the Teddy Bears Group, and she had a wonderful time experiencing the freedom that Bruin Woods allowed her. She also performed in the family talent show by singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and totally stole the show (if I do say so myself!) Mike and I both noticed how much our kids had grown just in one week, socially and developmentally. Will started speaking in complete sentences and made friends with all of the student staffers. We felt so blessed to have these amazing UCLA students not just befriend, but seriously love on our kids and make them feel so special. This was our second year going, and we are so glad this has become a family tradition for us. What a great way to start the summer!

I'm Back!

2010-06-18T19:47:00.000-07:00

Hi all! Well, I've decided that since I've quit Facebook and the summer's here, I'm going to try blogging again. Plus, my dear friend Natalie is blogging about her experience in London this summer, so I'll be logging on to blogspot.com more frequently. I can't promise long entries, but I will try to update photos and share where I am in life right now. To all who have awaited my return, thank you. I will try not to disappoint!

3.2

2009-03-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

Weight Loss this month (yes, it's been that long since I've blogged): 3.2 pounds
Weight Loss to date: 14.8 pounds

For those of you who worried that I had fallen off the wagon, not to fear! I haven't. I've just been busy. My weight loss is not what I had hoped for so far, but at least I am losing and not gaining. I think to really lose the weight I want to in the time I want to, I'm going to have to step up the exercising. I am exercising at least three times a week, but I think it is now time to up it up to 5 days a week. And now that report cards and conferences are over, I have no other excuse!

Not that I don't have any motivation. The designer jeans are still looming out there. And so is my closet full of clothes that has been stationary for the past year and a half. And then there's Elizabeth...yesterday when I was tired from a long week of work and was very close to wimping out of Tae-Bo, she nearly had a meltdown that we were NOT going to do Tae-Bo. So I got off my sorry butt, and worked out with her. She might just be better than I am at some of the moves.

So my goal for this week is to workout five days this week and to track my food in my food journal (I'm still on Weight Watchers, but I've been lazy and have been keeping track of my points in my head. Not the best when it's late at night and I'm trying to figure out if I have enough points for a Skinny Cow.)

My recipe for the week has become our new favorite. If you love jambalaya, you'll love this one. Enjoy!

Shrimp Jambalaya

2 tbsp. margarine
2 medium-sized onions, chopped
2 green bell peppers, chopped
3 ribs celery, chopped
1 cup chopped, cooked lean ham
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 1/2 cups uncooked minute rice
1 1/2 cups fat-free low sodium beef broth
28 oz. can low-sodium chopped tomatoes
2 tbsp. chopped parsley, fresh or dried
1 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 lb shelled, deveined, medium-sized shrimp

1. One half hour before assembling recipe, melt margarine in slow cooker set on high. Add onions, peppers, celery, ham, and garlic. Cook 30 minutes.
2. Add rice. Cover and cook 15 minutes
3. Add broth, tomatoes, 2 tbsp. parsley, and remaining seasonings. Cover and cook on high 1 hour.
4. Add shrimp. Cook on high 30 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed.

Makes 8 servings. 3 points per serving.

Accountable

2009-02-28T22:44:00.000-08:00

I don't want to write this post tonight. I have put it off for the past 12 hours. I have been very good this week. I stayed within my points. I resisted the donuts from Henry's on Friday in the lounge, as well as other goodies throughout the week. I exercised HARD for 3 days. And yet, when I got on the scale this morning, I was 1.2 up from last week. I don't know how this is possible, and I don't know why. But I am, and as much as I didn't want to admit this to all of you who read my blog and keep me accountable, I must remain true to the commitment I made 2 months ago. I will blog about my weight loss, good or bad, every Saturday. So here I am.

I'm not going to get upset about it. I know from previous weight losses that this happens every now and then. My body will plateau for a while and then suddenly I will lose again. I just need to remain consistent and steadfast. I still want to lose another ten pounds before my son's first birthday, and I will passionately work towards that this month.

In an effort to spice up my blogs (no pun intended), I thought I might share a recipe a week that has helped me in my weight loss. Most of my recipes will be crock-pot recipes (since that is how I am cooking lately), but all of them will be yummy, I promise. This week's recipe is for Chicken Tortilla Soup (only 6 points per serving!)

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 cans of black beans, undrained
2 cans of Rotel tomatoes
1 cup salsa
1 4 oz. can of chopped green chilies, undrained
1 14 1/2 oz. can of tomato sauce
Baked tortilla chips
2 cups grated fat-free cheese

Combine all ingredients except chips and cheese in large slow cooker. Cover. Cook on low 8 hours. Just before serving, remove chicken breast and slice into bite-sized pieces. Stir into soup. To serve, put a handful of chips in each individual soup bow. lade soup over ships. Top with cheese. Makes 8 servings.

Enjoy!

2.6

2009-02-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Weight loss this week: 2.6
Weight loss to date: 11.6
Okay, okay. So you probably thought I fell off the wagon since I haven't blogged for two weeks. Not to fear. I didn't quit. I just had a rough two weeks beginning with my birthday and ending with Valentine's Day. However, looking back, I think I did okay. I indulged, for sure, but I didn't over do it. And over 2 weeks I lost 2.6 pounds. Not too shabby!
So now all of the sweets are out of the house, and I'm back to my Healthy Choice Fudge Bars (1 point) and Skinny Cows (2 points) for dessert. My short term goal is to lose another 10 pounds before my son's first birthday on April 4th. I have six weeks to do so. Let's see if I can do it!

2.0

2009-02-03T06:33:00.000-08:00

Well, I lost another 2.0 pounds last week, but I'm sure after this weekend's birthday celebrations I have gained it back. I feel as if I've stepped on a slippery slope and am slowly falling off the path I have so successfully cleared for the last month. It is a lack of self-control, basically, that leads me down this slippery slope. It has to stop today. February 3rd. My birthday has come and gone, and now it is time to get back to business. No more cupcakes, no more frosting. This is it. Today I am back on track.

Now, if I could just get my husband to eat the last cupcake in the refrigerator.....

1.4

2009-01-24T19:55:00.001-08:00

Weight Loss this week: 1.4
Weight Loss to date: 7.4
This week was filled with some pitfalls, but I was able to navigate them successfully. I made it through my mom's birthday celebrations, and I only got to exercise twice this week. I've come down with a sinus infection, so hopefully a round of antibiotics and no afternoon appointments will improve my exercise schedule this week.
I have to keep reminding myself that this is a way of life, not a diet. Pitfalls are going to come, and I cannot give up everything because I had a piece of cake. That's why I like Weight Watchers. It allows me to live, and still account for what I'm eating. The weight loss may be slow, but it will be permanent.
Only 24.2 pounds to go!

1.6

2009-01-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

Weight loss this week: 1.6
Weight loss to date: 6.0
OK. So I learned a few things this week, about myself and about weight loss.
#1: Only weigh yourself once a week. I made the mistake of weighing myself before Saturday, and when I didn't get the results I was expecting, I was frustrated. The next day I weighed myself and found that I had lost a pound. That was a good day, but I know better than to open the package before Christmas.
#2: Sometimes you need to change it up. I was getting bored (already) with the same routine everyday. So I changed my food choices (still healthy, just different), and that helped me stay on track.
and #3: Use multiple measures when tracking your progress. Several of you commented that my weight loss should not be solely defined by a number. (Thanks Hilary and Jenny!) There are so many other benefits that go along with weight loss. Keeping up with my kids, preventing type 2 diabetes, fitting into old clothes (that seem to be the only clothes I want ro wear!), and simply being healthier.
I don't want to become solely focused on a number to define me. First and foremost, I know that I am a child of God and that whether I am a size 2 or a size 14, God loves me unconditionally. I do, however, know that my body is a temple of God and I do need to take good care of it. I want to be around to see my kids grow up, and since I am at risk of developing diabetes because of my gestational diabetes, I need to get this weight off and be healthier in order to do that.
And I will!

Frustrated

2009-01-14T06:31:00.000-08:00

OK. I'm frustrated. I've been working my butt off, sticking to my Weight Watchers plan, doing my exercise, being good. And nothing. Well, actually, not nothing. I gained a pound.

How is this possible?

I'm frustrated, and I want to give up. But more than that, I'm frustrated with this extra weight I'm lugging around, and that is my inspiration to stick with it. I know that this weight will not come off immediately. I know that I will not wake up tomorrow morning and look like Jennifer Aniston. I know that this is going to take work, and that work requires perseverance and patience. I know these things. I just needed to reiterate them this morning before I start my day again.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

2.8

2009-01-10T14:38:00.000-08:00

Weight loss this week: 2.8 pounds
Weight loss to date: 4.4 pounds

I feel a bit like Bridget Jones here.

So my week went well. I found that preparing food the night before for the next day really helped me stay on track and made me less stressed throughout the day. Knowing that I eat when I'm stressed, this strategy has helped me take control of my situation and really stick to my weight loss plan.

I ran three days this week (with my new jog stroller, which I love!) and then did a Tae-Bo (yes, I admit it...I still own a Tae-Bo video from the 90's) workout on Friday. That last workout was the best. Elizabeth joined me and did her best to keep up. She looked hilarious trying to do all of the kickboxing moves she saw on the TV. A bit like how Phoebe runs on "Friends." It made the workout so much more enjoyable for me, plus now I have an exercise partner. Who knew!

Knowing that I would have to blog about this also helped me stay on track. Thank you to all of you who are reading my blog and have left encouraging remarks. I truly value them!

I've made a new long term goal to purchase a pair of designer jeans when I have reached my 31.6 pounds, which is now only 27.2 pounds away!

Here's to another great week!

1.6

2009-01-04T21:43:00.000-08:00

This post was meant to be posted yesterday.

Well, after two days, I've lost that extra 1.6 pounds. Now I have an even 30 pounds to lose.

What I've learned so far: I eat when I am bored, frustrated, or mad. Surprise, surprise. Eating is my comfort. So, how do I solve this? When I have free time and am bored, I need to find something productive to do, like scrapbooking or blogging or running. When I am frustrated or mad, I need to journal about my feelings and drink a glass of water.

Goal for the week: When I am feeling the need to eat when I am not hungry, I will identify the feeling and find a non-eating activity to do instead of eating.

Starting Today

2009-01-01T11:04:00.000-08:00

Today I start my weight loss. I don't say diet because it is so much more than that that is going to need to take place in order for me to reach my goal. My goal is to lose 30 pounds. Actually, 31.6. I am carrying around 31.6 extra pounds and I feel...gross. That's the only word to describe it. I don't fit into any of the clothes I own, and I look like I'm still pregnant even though I gave birth 9 months ago. I kept putting it off, blaming my nursing or the holidays. But now it is time to get down to business. No more excuses. I have done this before and I can do it again.

So here's my plan.

Food: I'll be following the Weight Watchers food plan, writing down everything I eat and tracking my points daily. I've tried so many other "diets," and Weight Watchers really is the only one that works for me because it reteaches me everytime how to eat healthy and maintain the weight loss. (You might be thinking, "Well if it teaches you how to maintain the weight loss, why do you have to go on it again?" That would be the subject of another blog.)

Exercise: I got a new double jog stroller for Christmas. I will be putting it together today and my goal is to jog 4 times a week. Once I go back to work, my plan is to run as soon as I get home from work with the kids in the jog stroller. I have no mileage goals, just time. One hour, four times a week.

Accountability: I will be blogging about my weight loss every Saturday morning, and I will file all of those blogs under the title "My Weight Loss Story." I also will be talking to my dad on a daily basis, as he is doing the same thing.

So there's my plan. I know it will work because as I said earlier, I've done it before. It's not going to be easy, but things like this never are. But now that I've put this out there, I feel like I'm one step into this journey of mine.

The Best of 2008

2008-12-31T05:44:00.000-08:00

I saw this idea on a new friend's blog. I loved it, so here's mine.

The Best of 2008

1. Elizabeth moving into her big girl bed.

2. Baking Valentine's cookies and delivering them to Elizabeth's (and my) friends.

3. Will being born!

4. Dedicating Will to the Lord on Father's Day.

5. A summer at home getting used to having 2 kids.

6. Going to Disneyland with a two year old.

7. Celebrating the 4th of July with my little firecrackers!

8. Potty training Elizabeth!

9. Enrolling Elizabeth in dance class and watching her become a part of a class.

10. Watching my husband live out his lifelong dream of coaching on the floor of Pauley Pavilion.

11. Planning and throwing a huge surprise 40th birthday party for my husband! Happy Birthday Babe!

12. Celebrating Thanksgiving with family from near and far.

13. Watching my kids get into Christmas.

14. Going for walks with my kids.

15. Watching God continue to work in myself, my marriage, and my family.

All glory to our Heavenly Father for a wonderful 2008. Despite the difficult times that so many of us are experiencing, He is good and able to do far beyond what our minds could ever imagine. Here's to a fabulous 2009!

P.S. I apologize for the formatting on this post. I've tried for an hour now to fix it, but I just can't get it right. Oh well. Enjoy the maze!

If you give a man a bottle of tea...

2008-12-29T14:39:00.000-08:00

Have you read those children's books entitled If You Give a Mouse a Cookie or If You Give a Pig a Pancake? Well, here is my version...also entitled What I Spent My Morning Doing.

If you give a man a bottle of tea, he's going to want it chilled.

So he'll put it in the freezer to chill quickly.

But then he'll forget about it.

And in the morning he'll find that the bottle has exploded in the freezer!

So then he'll try to clean it up (I really did appreciate that, Honey.)

Finally, he will come to you and tell you what has happened.

And then you'll go into the kitchen to inspect things for yourself.

You'll see that he has done a decent job of cleaning up, but that there are still some glass particles in the freezer.

So you'll grab a sponge and try to reach them.

But then you'll realize that you can't reach them because the freezer door doesn't open all the way because of the sliding glass door.

So you'll have to pull the refrigerator out so that you can open the freezer door all the way and clean up the mess from the exploded tea bottle.

While the refrigerator is pulled out, you'll look behind it and notice that the floor is extremely dusty (that would be six years of extremely dusty!)

So you'll get out the vaccuum and the mop and the 409 and clean it up until it is perfectly clean (because the Monica in you can't not let you do that!)

And then you'll push the refrigerator back in and try to remember what it is that started this whole mess.

Oh yeah, if you give a man a bottle of tea...

Vacation!!!

2008-12-18T21:53:00.001-08:00

Tonight I start my Christmas vacation. Tomorrow I will sleep in (at least until the kids wake me up), eat a leisurely breakfast (without worrying about spilling it while driving), play "Princess" with my daughter and her new Little People castle, and nurse my son whenever he wants (instead of listening to the pump drone on). Tomorrow I will not rush, I will not stress, I will simply enjoy being a stay at home mommy, at least for a few weeks. Tonight I start my Christmas vacation. And tonight I return to my blog. Welcome back to me!

My Little Oski Bear

2008-10-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

Six months old! Wow! Where did the time go? Didn't I just have a baby? I can't believe how much I love him, and how much my heart has expanded to love him just as much as I love Elizabeth. I'll post about her tomorrow, but for now, let me brag about my boy.

My Kids

2008-05-26T14:22:00.000-07:00

These are my kids. There are no words to describe the love I feel for them. It is endless, boundless, and beautiful. I never knew I could feel so much love inside of me. They are amazing, and I am so very proud of them.

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above." James 1:17

Cinderella

2008-05-20T13:46:00.001-07:00

My two year old's new favorite song is a new one by Steven Curtis Chapman. She asks for it by name when we get in the car ("Listen Cinderella please") and then we listen to it over and over again until we have reached our destination ("Listen Cinderella again please.") I don't mind because, as those of you who know me, I love any song by Steven Curtis Chapman, and the words to this song are so precious. It's the musings of a father, watching his little girl play the part of Cinderella. Although burdened with the worries of adult life, he decides to dance with her, knowing that this moment won't be here forever. Here is the chorus:

So, I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

For I know something the prince never knew

I will dance with Cinderella

I don't want to miss even one song

For all too soon, the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone

As I watch my little Cinderella dance around the room while I nurse her brother, I treasure this time with her. She is so spirited, so excited about life, and so free to be herself. She reminds me that fairy tales do come true.

It's a Boy!

2008-05-07T20:29:00.000-07:00

To all of my blog viewers,

A belated birth announcement

Michael William Liskey III (AKA Will)

Born April 4, 2008

8 lbs. 12 oz.

20.5 inches long

Here are some photos of the now one-month old! Enjoy!

Update

2008-04-02T20:27:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm 2 centimeters dialated and my body is ready to go! They will induce labor on Friday morning if I haven't had the baby before then. So one way or another, I will have a baby by Friday!

Thank you to all who have been praying for me during the last nine months. Your support and encouragement have made this pregnancy so doable. God is good, and this baby is proof of that!

Pregnant Forever

2008-03-29T13:50:00.001-07:00

It is at this point in the pregnancy that you begin to feel that you will be pregnant forever. As people are making plans for the next few weeks, I am in limbo thinking, "Will I have had this baby by then? Maybe I will still be pregnant." My husband said today that for sure we will have the baby by Memorial Day. (He has such an odd sense of humor.) But to be honest, there are days when I think I will be pregnant forever.

I really thought I would have had this baby by now. I don't know why, but I really thought he/she would be coming early. Maybe it's because I'm so big, and so I figured when the baby hit a certain weight, it would begin the labor process on it's own. Or maybe it's because I so desperately want to go into labor naturally and not be induced this time, that I forced myself to think that he/she would be coming before my due date. A bit of my own brainwashing to be honest. At any rate, my due date is Tuesday and I have had no indication that this child is anywhere near ready to come join us on this side of my cervix.

Last week I was at peace with the baby not coming yet. I was treasuring my time with Elizabeth, and I was thankful for the extra days I got to work to earn as much as I could before going unpaid for a long time. But the other day, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that I am now tired of being pregnant. I'm tired of looking like a blob, having to pee every twenty minutes, battling leg cramps during the night, and not fitting into anything (not even my maternity wear) anymore. Nine months is long enough. I have no idea how elephants do it.

However, I am sure that by this time next week, I will be looking back on today with a reminiscent smile thinking, "Oh, those were the days when I could sit at the computer for more than 2 minutes and blog." And so for today, I will be thankful to still be pregnant and acknowledge that I will not be pregnant forever.

Still Waiting

2008-03-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

For those who are checking my blog to see if Baby #2 has arrived, the answer is...not yet!

Basic stats: 1/2 cm dialated, head down, but cervix is still too far back.

So we continue to wait. And that's okay.

Waiting

2008-03-16T12:46:00.001-07:00

Waiting. It's a lot of what life is made up of. We wait in line at the grocery store. We wait for a package to arrive in the mail. We wait once a year for our birthday or Christmas to come. We wait for a lot.

It doesn't surprise me that Elizabeth has already learned to say the word "patience." I must say that to her at least ten times a day. Although she doesn't quite know what it means, she knows that Mommy uses it a lot, so it must be an important word. She, at 23 months, has already had to experience a lot of waiting in her little life. I'm sure her next few words will be, "Just a minute, Mommy," as that is my other form of the expression "patience" to her.

The other day, a student in my classroom asked me what he could do when he was done with his test. I told him to sit down and wait. He looked at me and courageously asked me, "Why?" And I responded with a similar dialogue as the beginning of this blog. "Because life is made up of waiting. You won't always be entertained in this life. Sometimes you simply just have to sit there and wait." Perplexed by the philosophical nature of my answer, he went back to his seat and waited.

Why am I writing about waiting today? Because that is now what I am doing. We are patiently awaiting the birth of Baby #2. Part of me wants this baby to come now. My body is done being pregnant. And yet part of me, the part that is writing this blog, is content to wait because I know that life as I know it will be so different once this baby arrives. When I wasn't pregnant, I used to look at other pregnant women and feel envy, thinking "Oh, what a special time in her life this is." Now that I am here, I want to remember that thought because this is a special time in my life. Never again will I feel this child moving about inside of me. It is a surreal feeling that cannot be replicated. I want to do as Mary, the mother of Jesus did and treasure these feelings within.

So although I can't wait to meet the little one causing this earthquake of movement inside of me, I will wait until God appoints our meeting time. His timing is perfect, and I know that this child will arrive on the exact date that He has determined. And so as He has called me to, I will wait patiently.

Where Have You Been?

2008-03-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

My husband hates when I ask that question. It implies accountability, and sometimes I think he thinks I'm checking up on him like his step-mom or father used to do when he was a teenager. I tell him I'm just curious and want to make sure he is okay. I don't mind the question because to me it implies that someone cares about what I've been up to, what I've been doing, and where I'm going. So tonight, I'll tell you where I've been.

On Monday, I thought I was having contractions already (I'm currently 36 weeks along in my pregnancy). So since then, I've been...

to the doctor's office for him to tell me that I'm not having contractions.
to two different baby stores to purchase those last minute, extremely important items that you can't leave the hospital without (a carseat being one of them)
to the store to buy Dreft, size 1 diapers, food, and other essentials that will be needed once baby is here
to the car wash (I want my baby to come home in a clean car, I decided)

In short, I've been like the Energizer bunny this week, getting ready for this baby. Some call it nesting. I call it panic. Suddenly I'm realizing that my life is going to drastically change in a few weeks, and I'm doing everything I can to prepare for it.

And in the midst of all of this, I look at Elizabeth and I realize my time with just her is limited now too. And I am sad about that.

So many emotions. So much anticipation. In a few weeks, it will all be over, and a new life will be mine to care for. Life is happening, and I am right in the middle of it.

Tantrums

2008-02-26T19:52:00.000-08:00

As Elizabeth has her daily tantrums, and as I patiently wait them out, wondering when this phase will be over, I wonder if this is how God views me when I'm having a tantrum. I don't always get my way, but I always want it. And when I do have my tantrums, does God just sit there and think, "Oh, you big faker. Get up and move on with your life!" I doubt it. The Word tells us that He is a loving and compassionate God, and I have evidenced in my life times when He has comforted me the most, times when I have been throwing my own tantrums. Instead, He consoles me with His word, with the words of others who have been before me, and with the wisdom that He is in control of my life, not me. He does not look upon me with disdain or disbelief. He helps me to dry my tears, get back up, and move on with my life.

Thank you, Lord, that you are a better parent than I am. And thank you that I can learn about parenting from You.

Sweetness

2008-02-19T19:28:00.000-08:00

It doesn't get any sweeter than this.

Tonight as I was putting Elizabeth down for bed, she sang her version of the song I always sing to her, "Jesus Loves Me." She only knew a few of the words, but it was so sweet to hear her try and sing along with me. My favorite parts were the big breaths she took before each verse started.

Thank you, Lord, for sweet moments like this.

Beware

2008-02-17T12:48:00.000-08:00

Beware of what learning a lesson from God will do to you. Beware of thinking you have learned that lesson and that you can move on with your life. Beware of being overconfident in yourself and not in the Lord.

I was struck by the enemy this weekend. After coming to grips with my full-time working situation, I thought I was doing well. I blogged about it, I talked to friends about it, I was at peace about it. The enemy knew this and hit me in my Achilles heel, right when I wasn't looking. I won't go into major details, but basically I have been in a funk this weekend that resembled my old days of depression. Thankfully, only a few people had to deal with the fall-out from this (my husband and my mom), and praise God that today's sermon was the medication I needed to get out of this funk. I am better now, but I know that that won't last long if my eyes are not on the eternal prize.

Also, beware of Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Covered Pretzels. As good as they taste, they are not a satisfying solution to depression.

One Little Heartbeat at a Time

2008-02-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

To all my mommy friends:

I dedicate the chorus of this incredible Steven Curtis Chapman song to you.

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, and you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

Happy Heart's Day!

Perspective

2008-02-10T21:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think the Lord gives us a small peek into His big plan. It isn't an overarching view allowing complete comprehension, but it is a keyhole that pacifies us until the complete plan can be revealed. He doesn't have to give it to us. He is God and He is Lord. We are not on a contract basis in which I trust Him only if He tells me what's going on. I trust Him because He is God and He is Lord, and if He chooses to give me some perspective on His plan, that is just icing on the cake, so to speak.

On Thursday I was given a little bit of perspective. After coming to peace with not being able to job share and letting go of that dream, I was informed that my current administrator is not allowing job shares on our campus. So even if I had tried to job-share at my present school, I would not be allowed to and would have to find another school to work at. Not an impossible task, but also not an easy task, especially with a 2 year old and a newborn at home.

So maybe God was protecting me. And maybe He has even greater plans for me than just job-sharing. Or maybe He doesn't, and He simply wants me to continue to trust Him. Either way, I'm thankful for the bit of perspective He has so graciously bestowed on me. It may be only 1/32 of the picture, but that's 1/32 more than what I had on Wednesday.

Charma

2008-02-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth has developed a liking towards Parmesean cheese lately. "Charma, charma!" as she calls it. She will dip anything and everything into the pile of pale yellow dust-like particles: noodles, carrots, sandwich crusts, her fingers. I had to draw the line at pancakes, however. That was just a little too gross for me.

I'm not sure why she likes it. Perhaps it's the cheesy taste. Perhaps it's the novelty of dipping and being in control of her food. Or perhaps it's the fact that after she eats "charma", we have to get the vacuum (her very favorite toy!) out and clean it all up. I'm not sure which reason it is, but she loves it.

She loves "charma" unconditionally, without reservation, without reason. It doesn't matter what she eats it with; she loves it. It doesn't matter why she eats it; she loves it. I hate to connect everything to a higher meaning, but I sure wish I could love people the way Elizabeth loves "charma."

Do as the Occasion Demands

2008-02-02T19:21:00.000-08:00

1 Samuel 10:7. "AND LET IT BE THAT WHEN THESE SIGNS COME TO YOU, THAT YOU DO AS THE OCCASION DEMANDS; FOR GOD IS WITH YOU."

My friend, Yvonne, shared this verse the other night at a girls' night out. It struck me and stuck with me. I love the part that says, "Do as the occasion demands." For me, what the occasion demands is for me to work full time next year. Although it is not what I want to do, it is what is required of me at this time. And I cling to the last part of the verse, "For God is with you." He is with me, He is with my daughter, and He will be with my new baby. As long as He is with us, we will be in the center of His will.

Hope this verse brings as much hope to you as it did to me. Thanks Yvonne!

Getting It

2008-01-27T12:05:00.000-08:00

Today's sermon was sooo meant for me. Thank you, Lord, for the way you speak through our pastor right to my heart. It is days like today that remind me that I am your child and that you care so much about me.

So the message today was about choosing to glorify God despite your situation. Hello...did Pastor Tom read my blog last week or what?! The Israelites didn't do this. They wanted God to fix their situation, and then when He did, they glorified Saul, their new king, not Him, their eternal king. They didn't get it. And consequently (as I'm sure Pastor Tom will take us through in the next few weeks), they will pay the price for their narrow-sighted vision.

I want to get it. I want to be in a place where I can glorify God in whatever situation I am in. I want to be able to glorify the Lord whether I am working full time, part-time, or staying at home. I want to be able to glorify Him whether my children are obedient or not. I want to be able to glorify Him whether my husband is loving or not. I was there earlier this week, and then I let myself focus on my situation instead of on my loving Father. Today I was recharged, but I think the key is continually renewing my mind and focusing on Father.

I pray every night with Elizabeth that she and the new baby would come to know Jesus at an early age, that they would love and follow Him everyday of their lives, and that they would glorify His name in all that they do. I think I need to add myself to that prayer.

Submission

2008-01-22T19:13:00.000-08:00

Today I am learning another lesson in submission. My husband and I have had the "talk" about whether or not I can work part-time again next year, and after looking at all of the numbers, it doesn't look like it will be possible for me. This mortgage crisis is affecting us all. I am so sad...I so badly wanted to stay at home with my babies next year.

But I can tell God is working in me. In the past, when things have not gone my way and I have had to submit, I have gotten angry and blamed other people (usually my husband) for the situation. But today, I am subdued. I don't know why. I am sad but also at peace. I think after 5 years of marriage, and many other lessons in submission, I am starting to understand what the concept means.

My friend Pamie told me to find joy in this situation. So here is a list of the things to be joyful about when working full time.

My working full time will keep my family out of debt.
My working full time will keep our health insurance at a reasonable cost.
My working full time will take an enormous burden off of my husband and will show him that I respect him. It will also enable him to pursue his dream of accomplishing his MBA.
My working full time will allow my children to develop loving relationships with other people who care for them.
My working full time will make me appreciate my time with my children so much more.
As a teacher, at least my working full time is only 10 months out of the year. Also, I can be home by 3:30 pm, and still spend some quality time with my children.

I know that the Lord is in control and that He knows my dream. Perhaps when this mortgage crisis is over and the economy turns up, I will be able to stay at home. Until then, I continue to pray and trust in the Lord. He not only knows what is best for me but also for my family. I have to trust in that.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God...Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you...Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." James 4:1-8

Initiation

2008-01-19T19:20:00.000-08:00

When I was in college, I decided to pledge a sorority to help me meet more people on campus. I went through rush, visited all of the houses, put down my preferences, and waited for a bid. To my joy, I received a bid from the house I wanted to join and began the pledging process. This consisted of one semester where I learned about the sorority, performed menial jobs for the sisters (such as phone duty or hashing), and basically got to know all of the girls that I would soon be calling my "sisters." I survived pledging and after 3 months, I was initiated into the sorority. From then on I was considered a true Alpha Gam and was expected to pull my weight as a sister. I did for three years, and I still keep in touch with many of my sorority sisters.

Last week, Elizabeth, Mike and I all came down with the stomach flu. It started with Elizabeth vomitting all over the couch and newly cleaned carpets in the living room. She then threw up every half hour from 7 pm until 2 am. Being new parents, Mike and I didn't realize until about Throw Up #3 that we had to physically get Elizabeth to the trashcan or toilet since she didn't know how to do this. It was an extremely messy night in which we must have gone through 8 sets of sheets, 4 pairs of pajamas, and what seemed like a million towels. I slept on the side of her bed, waiting for the signs that she was about to vomit, and then quickly would lift her up to the side where the trashcan was. It was a vicious night, and as I watched my little girl go through such horrible pain, I just prayed and prayed that the vomitting would stop and that she would be able to get some rest for her little worn out body.

The next day, I told Mike that we had now been initiated as parents. The last 20 months we been learning about Elizabeth and how to parent her best, getting to know her and her quirks, and performing menial tasks such as changing her diaper and giving her a bath. Basically, we were pledging the fraternity of parenthood. But after that night, I felt we now understood what it meant to be a parent. We survived the yucky stuff, took care of our daughter, and now we can truly call ourselves parents. I'm sure everyone has their "initiation" into parenthood at some point. Some come early on in a child's life; some come later. And I'm sure there are several "initiation" moments that are awaiting me in the future. I just hope they don't all include "holding her hair back."

Big Girl Bed - Part 2

2008-01-02T14:01:00.001-08:00

So on Elizabeth's first night in her big girl bed, all of my fears came true. At 1:00 am, she woke up scared and screaming because she didn't know where she was. At 4:00 am, she woke up and ran down the hallway. At 6:00 am, she fell off the edge of the bed. By 7:30 am, when she officially woke up, not only was she glad the night was over, but so was I. I was so worried all night that I didn't sleep a wink. But even though all of my fears came true, she still survived. There were no bumps or bruises, and she eventually went back to sleep all three times.

Last night, Elizabeth's 2nd official night in her big girl bed, I went to bed exhausted and anticipated another sleepless night. But to my surprise, my big girl didn't wake up once! I was shocked! When I woke up 6:30 this morning, I couldn't believe that it was my first time waking up since my head hit the pillow last night. And at about 7:30 this morning, as I was getting my morning toast, out popped a little blond curly head that said, "Hi!" My big girl had awoken.

The lesson here. Well, there are many. But I think the big one for me is that kids are so adaptable to change. What I was anticipating to take 3 weeks, took only 3 days. And the fears that I had, well, they happened, but no one was any none the worse. We survived, adapted, and moved on, as we do in all things in life. And now I have a toddler who sleeps in her big girl bed at night. Yeah!

Big Girl Bed

2007-12-31T21:59:00.001-08:00

Tonight Elizabeth wanted to sleep in her big girl bed (which currently is just a mattress on the floor of her new big girl room) instead of in her crib. Although this is the goal we eventually wanted her to reach, tonight it just came too soon. We JUST started taking naps in there, with me by her side. In my mind, I had thought that we would do this for a week or so, then progress to taking naps in there by herself, and then finally move to spending the night in there. In my mind, this process would take about 3 weeks or so, not 3 days. But there she was, my little elfkin, sitting on her mattress saying, "Night-night," and as I looked at my husband with a worried face, I realized that my little girl is becoming a big girl sooner than I had expected or wanted.

Sometimes I feel guilty, being pregnant and forcing my little girl to grow up sooner than perhaps she is ready. If this new baby weren't coming so soon, she would be able to stay in her crib and not have to move to a big girl bed. My husband and I wanted our children to be close in age, and we both agreed that this was the best rooming situation for our family and our house, but is it forcing my daughter to grow up too fast? I guess I'll never know because it's happening already.

Moments of Bliss

2007-12-26T19:40:00.000-08:00

Three moments of bliss today:
1. Sharing a family hug with Elizabeth, Mike, Cheetah, and Bear in the parking lot of a kids furniture store.
2. Giving a hundred kisses to Elizabeth and making her laugh so hard she had to catch her breath.
3. Singing "Jesus Loves Me" as I put Elizabeth down to bed and hearing her trying to sing along.

Oh, I love being at home, spending time with my family. I miss it so much. But perhaps I appreciate it more now because I do miss it so much.

My Favorite Gift (so far)

2007-12-24T13:38:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday I received my favorite gift of the season (so far!) Actually, it wasn't for me; it was for my daughter. We had our nannies over for a holiday thank you dinner, and they both arrived with a joint gift for Elizabeth, both very excited to give it. It looked square and thin in shape, and I guessed it was a book that they had purchased for Elizabeth. I thought to myself how sweet that was, especially since one of the nannies had mentioned that Elizabeth seemed bored with all of the books in the house. About an hour later I found out that what was inside the package was far beyond a book to relieve the boredom of my daughter. It was a treasure to both her and me.

The title of the book is "Elizabeth's Day with Bear," and the content of the book is a play by play of what my daughter's day looks like at 19 months with her best friend "Bear." The text is accompanied by pictures that both nannies had taken while watching her over the past 3 months. The pages show how she and Bear eat breakfast together, play blocks together, go for a walk together, play at the park together, and take a nap together. Mundane as it may seem, for a working mother, it is a treasure.

As I read through the book, tears welled up inside of me. These were the things that I used to do with my daughter on my days off last year. Now, two other young ladies get to do these things with her. You would think jealousy would take over here, but instead a sense of gratefulness came upon me. I'm so thankful that these two young ladies take such good care of my daughter and that they care for her enough to continue doing these things with her. And I'm so thankful that they love her enough to take the time to make a book that chronicles what her life is like at this point.

A couple of months ago a friend of mine sent me an email describing her point of view of working mothers. In the email, she wrote, "As for the working full-time thing...I believe in it. [My daughter] will be in wonderful hands and I will be doing what I've been trained and equipped to do for years. Instead of just one person benefitting from my love and skills, I get to help dozens of kids who don't come from the healthy place that [my daughter] does. It's what the kingdom of heaven is about - using your talents to bless others. We'll read to, sing to, cuddle with, and love [my daughter] in the morning, evening, and weekend. During the 9 or so hours of separation, she'll be learning social skills, learning to love others and be loved by others (besides us). It's more than just being great moms - it's doing our part as humans on this earth."

Last Sunday with the help of my daughter, a bear, and a book, I finally realized the latter part of this email. And I'm so grateful for that gift.

Cousins

2007-11-28T20:32:00.000-08:00

My friend Sarah's blog inspired this one.

In this picture are my daughter and my cousin Janny's kids, Janet Joy (who we lovingly call J.J.) and Caleb (also known as K-Bob). It was taken at Thanksgiving, at the end of a long fun-filled, food-filled, family-filled day. To me, it embodies more than just a day. This picture represents the past, the present, and hopefully the future.

My cousin Janny and I were born six weeks apart. Our parents are twins, and we grew up almost as sisters. Janny is the older one, and she has always done things before me. She learned to read before I did. She started dating before I did. She got married before I did. She had kids before I did. She is competing in triatholons before I am. In many ways, she is like my older sister even though only six weeks separate us.

And I am so thankful that she is the older one, for I have learned so much from her. I find myself continually calling her, asking her advice on something whether it's how to make a certain dish or how to get Elizabeth to sleep at night. She is an incredible woman of God and an incredible wealth of knowledge. I am always in awe of how much she knows and how much she does. But most of all, she is an incredible encourager, and when the chips are down, I know I can always count on her to fill my bucket and give me a good laugh.

Janny's kids, J.J. and Caleb, have been anxiously waiting for Elizabeth to "grow up" and play with them, and this Thanksgiving, she finally was able to. Janny brought a huge bag of Mega-Blocks, and the three of them played for hours together in the middle of my mom's living room, oblivious to the football and food preparation going on. As I sat there and watched them play, I quietly enjoyed the beginnings of their relationships as cousins. It was sweet to hear Elizabeth say, "J.J." and it was precious to watch Caleb instruct Elizabeth on how to build a car. They will be good older siblings for her.

I pray that my children will have strong relationships with their cousins like I do. There is nothing quite like it.

Thankful

2007-11-21T19:37:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my favorite day of the year. I love Thanksgiving. It is my favorite holiday by far. Perhaps because it is a simple holiday with no intentional commercialism attached to it. Perhaps because it has all of the yummy foods included in it. Or perhaps because it is all about looking back on the year and reflecting on all that we have been given, instead of complaining about what we haven't.

This year has been difficult for me, and lately I have been focusing on what I don't have. So tonight I want to focus on what I do have and what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my daughter, who is growing and maturing so quickly. She amazes me everyday.

I am thankful for my new baby, who is also growing so quickly. I can't wait to meet him or her in a few months.

I am thankful for my husband, who works hard to make my dreams come true. I know he sacrifices satisfaction in his career so that we can be where we are today. He also worked so hard to find good nannies for our daughter when I had to go back to work. And I'm thankful for our nannies who take such good care of my pride and joy.

I am thankful for my job at Eisenhower Elementary. When things were so up in the air, GGUSD could have put me anywhere. I'm thankful I landed right back where I started.

I am thankful for my family, especially my parents. Sometimes I feel they are working harder to support me now than when I was younger, and I want them to know that I could not make it without them.

I'm thankful for my friends who haven't given up on me as my life has changed so dramatically. Thank you to Lori who faithfully calls me every week, and to Sarah who encourages me to blog even after a two month break. Thank you to Jenny who sends me pictures of her babies in England and still connects with me even though it must seem like I've fallen off the face of the earth. And thank you to Pamie who clips a victory verse to my box everyday at work. I never get to thank her enough.

But most of all, I'm thankful for a Father who sustains me and comforts me during these stressful times. I'm thankful for these valleys in which He teaches me and strengthens me so much. I feel like a different person now, and although I know that the storms will continue to come, I know I will make it through them because He stands with me.

Ode to Jennie

2007-11-20T22:19:00.000-08:00

OK. I usually write about my life, my family, or things that the Lord is teaching me. But tonight I must write about something a little less important. Tonight I must express my sadness at the voting off of Jennie Garth from "Dancing with the Stars".

I have been a Jennie Garth fan for a long time. Yes, I watched "Beverly Hills 90210" way back when, and yes, I secretly tried to dress like Jennie's character Kelly Taylor. (But then again, in the 90's, who didn't?) I cheered when she finally got together with Dylan McKay, and I cried when she and Brandon decided not to get married. I watched "9-0" (as my fellow fans call it) loyally until the end, and I must say I was relieved when Jennie Garth reappeared on television with the show "What I Like About You." I know most people believe that the star of that show was Amanda Bynes, but for us "9-0" fans, we know who the real star was. (Jennie, that is.)

When "Dancing with the Stars" revealed their list of celebrities this season, I was more than ecstatic to see my girl Jennie on the list. It has been several years since she has been on network television on a weekly basis. She started off okay as a dancer, but then she had that horrible fall. As she said tonight, that was probably the best thing to happen to her because since then, she has worked so hard and she has improved so much. Every week I have spent all of my votes on her, dialing in 1-800-868-3401 over and over until the operator tells me I have no more votes left on that phone. But alas, last night it was not enough. Despite my 15 votes, she just couldn't beat the Osmond machine that has wrongfully launched Marie Osmond into the finals. Such is life.

Honestly, though, I have a great deal of respect for Jennie Garth. She is beautiful, she doesn't believe in plastic surgery (her solution to growing old in Hollywood is to move to Idaho!), she is an incredible mother of 3 beautiful girls, and she truly is real. She has showed her emotions through this whole "Dancing with the Stars" competition, and for anyone who knows me, you know how much I appreciate that. She is a true star in my eyes, and I am so sad to see her go.

OK. Now I can sleep tonight.

My Favorite Moments

2007-11-16T22:06:00.000-08:00

At eighteen months, here are some of my favorite moments with Elizabeth:

listening to her laugh uncontrollably as she plays with her daddy
telling her "I have a secret" and then whispering in her ear "Psss Psss Psss Psss"
watching her figure something out (like how to unlock the tot locks on the cabinets) for the first time and then beaming with pride
getting a wet, slobbery kiss from her on the lips
having her identify the parts of her body
watching her look for the foam letters I, X, Y, and J in the bathtub
reading the same book over and over and over to her
watching her talk back to the finger puppet in her Little Lamb book
hearing her imitate an elephant and watching her do the hand motions that go with the sound
listening to her identify all the members of my family (Mama, Dada, Papa, Maama, CeCe)
watching her read her nursery rhymes book and doing the motions that go with each rhyme
kissing the soft, blond curls (that I prayed for when I was pregnant!) on the top of her head
praying with her at dinnertime and watching her bow her head and say "Amen" when we finish
watching her suck her two fingers and knowing that at eighteen months, she already has her nervous habit

Thank you, Lord, for the incredible privilege of being able to watch her develop into who you have created her to be.

Boy or Girl?

2007-11-13T19:44:00.000-08:00

We had our 20 week ultrasound yesterday, and what an emotional day it was for me. It started out exciting, seeing a close up view of our baby, watching it's four-chambered heart beat so strongly, examining it's profile for resemblances of either myself or my husband. It's amazing how much you can see in such a blurry black and white image. Already I can tell that this child has a completely different profile than Elizabeth does. The head is bigger, the nose is sharper, the chin is more defined. I remember when we had our ultrasound for Elizabeth that I was convinced she looked like me. Everyone thought I was crazy saying that based on an ultrasound, but I could see my profile in her. And sure enough, as she's grown older, she may look like her daddy face on, but from the side she is surely my child. I told my husband that this child must look like him.

I then went from excitement to worry for my new baby. Worry because I can already tell that people aren't as excited about this baby as they were for my first baby. When I got pregnant with Elizabeth, I received tons of cards from friends and family. When I got pregnant this time, I received three. I understand the novelty of having a baby has gone away for us because we supposedly know what we are doing now, but I still want this baby to feel special and wanted and celebrated. I want this child to know that it was a miracle that God created, not just an accident that happened one night. I worry that this child won't be as amazing as Elizabeth is and won't get the same attention that she does. And I worry that I will then try to overcompensate for it and cause an issue between my children. I worry, and I worry until God tells me not to worry anymore. It doesn't make a difference in the situation. This baby is what it is, and there is no changing that. I simply need to love my children the way God commands me to, and trust Him with their lives the way I do with my own.

We didn't find out the sex of the baby, so don't even ask. I know, I know...we're no fun that way. Call us old-fashioned. We like to have the surprise at the end. So what do you think...boy or girl?

A Good Mother

2007-11-12T12:08:00.000-08:00

Hello. I'm back. It's been 2 1/2 months, and for those of you who are reading this, thanks for not giving up on me! I knew I would return. It just took me a little while to get adjusted to my new situation in life. "My Life as I Know It" changed dramatically in September, and I am just now settling into my new "life as I know it." I feel in a way like I've moved houses and have now unpacked all my boxes, set up each room in the house, found where the nearest grocery store is, and returned to the routine of my life.

Through all of this change in my life, I've learned a lot. I won't bore you with all that I've learned, but I will share the one major lesson God has taught me. I used to think a good mother was one who stayed home, took care of her children and her home, and taught her children everything they needed to know in life. That was my dream, my goal, my purpose as a mother. When I suddenly had to go back to work full time and semi-abandon that dream, I was devastated (as evidenced by the last few blogs I wrote). I now understand that a good mother isn't necessarily one who stays a home. And a good mother isn't necessarily one who works full-time either. A good mother is one who does what is needed for her family at this season of time. And that is what I have done. I choose to work full-time at this time in my life because it is what my family needs me to do. Perhaps at another time in my life, I won't have to work full-time and I will be able to see my dream come true. But if that never occurs, that's okay because I know that I am doing what the Lord has called me to do, and that is to take care of my family.

"A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
...She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
...She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed:
her husband also, and he praises her.
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
(various verses from Proverbs 31)

To all of the mothers out there, here's to you for doing what your family needs you to do!

Messes

2007-08-31T10:07:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth has developed a new little quirk. If she is drinking something and she spills, she will immediately get up, go to the drawer which holds the towels, pick out a towel, come back and wipe it up. I'm sure she does it because she's seen me do it hundreds of times in her life, but everytime she does it, it is so fascinating to watch. She's become my little cleaner-upper!

A friend of mine reminded me yesterday that God didn't create the mess that we are in currently. We did that all on our own. However, He will come along side us and help us clean up our messes and turn them into blessings somehow. He will be our cleaner-upper, and it will be just as fascinating to watch.

Ifs

2007-08-29T03:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the "ifs" don't work out. On Monday I was set to go back to work part-time "if" my job-share partner agreed it was okay. And although she was 95% sure that it was okay, on Tuesday I found out that "if" was not going to happen. So now I am returning to the full-time work force with a heavy heart and a tumultous stomach.

Sometimes the "ifs" do work out, though. None of this would even be possible "if" we couldn't find childcare for my daughter. And yesterday, we did. In one day we found two nannies who can watch Elizabeth for the whole week. (They will have different days, not that Elizabeth needs two nannies to watch her at the same time.)

So who's in charge of the "ifs"? Obviously, it's God. And although I don't understand His answer to the "ifs", I trust Him completely. Because with God, there are no "ifs".

U Turn

2007-08-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes God makes us do U-turns in our lives. I remember seeing a bumper sticker years ago that said, "If you're going the wrong way, God allows U-turns." Although I don't think I was going the wrong way, I do think God has led me on a U-turn today.

Two weeks ago, my husband and I made a decision together that I would take a leave of absence from my job and stay at home to take care of our daughter. He said financially we could make it. Well, yesterday, after going over our expense list for the umpteenth time, he came to me and said that we weren't going to make it. I have to tell you, this is not what I wanted to hear. And after many, many hours of tears and a very sleepless night, I woke up this morning knowing what I had to do. So I got on the phone and grovelled for my job back. It was humiliating, to say the least, but it is what God asked me to do, and so I had to put my pride up on the shelf and do it.

I'm still not sure what the Lord is doing, but I do know that He is in control. He is still my pilot, and I cling to that fact when I think about all of the other things that still need to fall in place. We still don't have childcare for my daughter. My job-share partner still needs to okay the whole situation. My district still needs to permit me to come back. There are a lot of "stills", but I trust that the Lord is "still" omniscient and "still" all-powerful.

Small Victories

2007-08-22T19:25:00.000-07:00

Today Elizabeth ate chicken for the first time. Not that she hasn't been given it before. Or not that she hasn't tried it before. But today she actually put it in her mouth, chewed it, swallowed it, and asked for another piece. I was so excited by this momentous occasion (up until now her diet has consisted of cheese, yogurt, peanut butter sandwiches, potatoes, and bananas), that I cheered so loud for her, you would have thought she was a movie star or something. She, of course, loved that and was encouraged to eat more. I think she ate a good third of my chicken breast, which I gladly gave up for the sole comfort that one more item of food has been added to her menu. To say the least, it was a big day!

I think this is how God reacts when I do something that He is proud of. Don't get me wrong...I know we are saved by grace and not acts, but I do think He gets excited when we do things that show we are walking by faith in Him. Like these latest decisions that my husband and I have had to make. As difficult as they were, I think perhaps the Lord was cheering loudly for us, just like we were cheering loudly for Elizabeth and her chicken. Yep, these small victories in life are huge in the eyes of any parent.

Major Decisions

2007-08-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

OK. So it's been a while since my last blog. The reason...well, let's just say I've had to make some major decisions in my life, and I just wasn't ready to blog about them yet. But now I am, so here it goes.

On July 25th, I found out that I was pregnant again. This was a shock and surprise to me, as I truly thought it was going to take us a while to conceive again (it took us almost two years to get pregnant with Elizabeth!) I waited until I was almost 5 days late before I even took a test, and the first test I took was an expired one. When it came back positive, I still didn't believe it and so I went to Rite Aid and bought the $17 pregnancy test. When it also came back positive, I figured it must be true, and so this story begins. I am currently 8 weeks along, and am feeling all of the joys of pregnancy, my nausea being the worst!

At about the same time that I found out I was pregnant, we were interviewing daycare providers for my daughter Elizabeth. With me working part-time, this has been a difficult search. We have gone down every avenue of daycare within the city of Orange: licensed daycares, unlicensed in-home daycares, looking on Craigslist.com, and finally nannies. We thought we had someone that was perfect, but when we offered her the job, she politely declined. And after the last nanny asked for $125 a day, I looked at my husband and started crying. It was clear what the Lord was telling us: I needed to stay home fulltime.

And of course, after you make a HUGE decision like that, the enemy starts attacking you, and that's exactly what he did to us. In the last week, I think I have shed more tears than I have all year (of course, some of that may also be from those lovely pregnancy hormones!) There were several hurdles to jump over once we made this decision, but after each hurdle the Lord has carried us over it and continually confirmed that this is His calling for me this year. Everyday I am feeling more and more confident of this decision for our family.

So, that's why I haven't been blogging. But guaranteed, I'm back and I'm looking forward to sharing more of my new life with you as I get the chance. Thanks for reading, and thanks for not giving up on me!

There's No Place Like Home

2007-07-31T19:24:00.001-07:00

I went away this weekend, to attend a baby shower of a good friend of mine in Denver. Mike stayed home and watched Elizabeth for three days, and although he has done this before, it still was a bit of a scary thing for both of us. I'm proud to say, though, that my husband did outstanding! He not only did the basics of feeding, bathing, and putting her to sleep, but he went for walks with her, took her swimming everyday, and even ran errands with her. When I came home on Sunday, he was a plethora of knowledge on her habits and idiosyncracies of late. It was so sweet, and inside I was just beaming with joy thinking what a good father my husband has become.

Going away is good for all of us. It gave my husband confidence in his childcare abilities. It provided an opportunity for my husband and daughter to bond, something that I have to make sure we build into our family time. It rejuvenated me and gave me an amazing appreciation of my family. It was good for me to go away, but I'll tell ya, by Sunday, I was ready to come home. When the airline agent told me my flight had been cancelled and that I would have to either fly stand-by or wait until Monday to fly home, I have never prayed harder to get on that stand-by flight. All I wanted was to get home. I understand now how Dorothy felt. Yes, there is no place like home, and I am so thankful I have a home that I look forward to returning to. Thank you, Mike, Elizabeth, Yoda and Obi (the dogs), Luke and Lea (the cats), and the one who gave it all to me, Jesus.

Big Girl Day

2007-07-27T04:32:00.000-07:00

I let Elizabeth feed herself her yogurt yesterday. This is the result. She refused to let me feed it to her, and although I knew she wasn't completely ready to do it herself, I let go of my anal, clean-freak nature and let her at it. It was hysterical! She would dip the spoon into the yogurt and then hold it vertically, spilling all of the yogurt, before getting it into her mouth. Eventually, she figured out (after MUCH prompting from Mommy and Daddy) that she needed to turn the spoon horizontally in order to actually taste the food, but for a while, she didn't even care about doing that. She was just pleased as punch at the fact that SHE was feeding herself. SHE was a BIG girl today!

Yesterday was a big girl day, and I'm feeling my heart torn. On one hand, I'm so proud of my little girl, learning and growing and becoming more independent. But on the other hand, I miss my little baby who used to be so dependent and needing of me. I know I'm not the only mom who has felt this way or is feeling this way currently, and I realize this is the cycle of life. But this is just how I feel. I wonder how I'll feel in 17 years time when it is time to help her move into her college dorm or 30 years down the line when she is asking me parenting questions about her baby. I guess this is what they mean by motherhood. And although I am a little sad today, I'm so glad to be a part of this club.

Lessons Learned from Traffic School

2007-07-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

So, I've been at Traffic School for the last two Monday nights. Not my favorite thing to do on a Monday night, but I didn't really have a choice. A couple of months ago I was going too fast down Cambridge on my way back from Trader Joes (I take that short cut because there are less lights...there are also more cops, I came to find out.) Before I knew it, there were lights in my rearview mirror, and for the first time in ten years, I was getting a speeding ticket. I probably deserved it, and I probably needed to go to traffic school again, just to hear all of the stories that would scare me back into driving safely. I'm sure my husband was not thrilled about the $300 ticket we had to pay, but he's probably secretly thankful that I got scared by the stories and am changing my driving habits for the better.

My attitude about traffic school in the past has been that they make it so incredibly boring that you never want to go back and you change your driving habits for good. Obviously, that only lasted 10 years for me the last time. So this time, I took a different approach to traffic school. I tried to learn some new things and put them into practice so that I don't end up here again in another 10 years. So here's what I learned:
1. The most popular ticket was for speeding, but not on the freeway. Most of the tickets I heard about were given on the residential streets where 25 is the speed limit unless otherwise posted.
2. The second most popular ticket was for the infamous "California" rolling stop. No, it is not a legal thing to do in California. And yes, you will get a ticket for doing it.
3. The reason that the speed limit is still 65 mph is because the highways were built in the 1930's and 1940's when cars could only go that fast. Today cars can go a lot faster, but the highways haven't been updated to handle that.
4. The hands-free law doesn't start until next July (2008), contrary to all of the emails I received this month.
5. The number one cause of death in children in America is car accidents. Yikes!

As I looked around, I saw people of all different ages and ethnicities in the room. There were Caucasians, African-Americans, Latinos, Asians. I sat next to a woman from Iran and a man named Salvador. There was a young girl in there who truly had only been driving for a few weeks and an older gentleman who was 84 and was in there for his first ticket ever. It was a true cross section of America, and as I think about it now, a true picture of what salvation is like. There we all are, sinners, sitting in that court room, waiting for our punishment. We all deserve to go to jail because we broke the law (even as miniscule as speeding is, it's still against the law.) We are all equal offenders in the eyes of the law, and we all deserve the same punishment. But then Jesus comes out and gives us our yellow certificate that says we are free to go. Free to go, and we didn't even have to go through traffic school. We stand around in shock, joyfully elbowing each other and thinking, "Thank goodness I don't have to sit through another 8 hours of hell." Of course, in order to stay out of traffic school, we have to take the yellow certificate and change our driving habits for good. And there in lies the true test.

So there are my lessons from traffic school. Not thrilling, but surely life changing.

The Impact of Words

2007-07-20T13:17:00.000-07:00

I swam competitively for 13 years when I was younger. Swimming was a huge part of my life for a long time. Practice, sometimes double, everyday. Swim meets on Saturdays and Sundays. When I graduated high school, I officially "retired" from swimming. I decided that I had had enough of the chlorine and early morning workouts, and that I didn't want to wake up at 5 am anymore. (Ha! Little did I know!) I hadn't touched a pool (in the competitive sense) for over 15 years.

Until today. Today I swam for the first time in 15 years. I was extremely nervous about it, visualizing myself immediately sinking to the bottom of the pool. But I was pleasantly surprised. When I got in the water, it all kind of came back to me. As my arms pulled through the waters, I could feel them sculling as I had been taught to do so long ago. I could hear my coaches saying, "Don't tuck your chin. Keep your head up," as I sprinted 25 yards. And I could feel it was wrong when I took a breath off the wall, something we used to get penalized for in practice. It shocked me how after 15 years, my coaches' words were still so fresh in my ears, as if they were right there on the deck blowing their whistles and yelling at me.

My husband often tells me to think about what I am going to say before I say it because whatever I say, it will stay with him for a long time. I guess that's true for coaches, teachers, parents, and people in general. Funny how I hold all of those titles. I guess that means I better learn this lesson soon!

Imitators of Christ

2007-07-18T09:52:00.001-07:00

The other day I caught Elizabeth playing with a napkin. She had it wadded up and was wiping her nose, similar to how her daddy does it. It was the cutest thing, especially with the sound effects she was adding. She would wipe and wipe and then blow. I have etched that moment in my mind to remember forever.

Elizabeth has been imitating us a lot lately. She likes to brush her hair when I brush my hair. She joyfully brushes her teeth when I brush my teeth. She absolutely loves putting on our shoes and walking around in them. She longs to do "big people" things, and she gets so excited when she has the opportunity to do them.

And then it got me thinking. That last sentence is the attitude Christ wants us to have. We are called to be imitators of Christ. That means we do what Christ does. We walk like He walks. We talk like He talks. We treat others the way He treats others. And we are to do all of these things with the same joy that my daughter has when putting on my shoes. So proud because we're just like mama, or in His case, Abba.

Some of a Thing is Better than None of a Thing

2007-07-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

This morning I had a monthly prayer group scheduled with a group of women that I adore. We have been meeting for almost 7 years and have watched each other walk, stumble, stand up, and walk again with the Lord. I treasure the time that I get to spend with these girls once a month, and I look forward to hearing what the Lord is teaching them lately. Many times I feel that I learn the lesson too as they share their experiences and discoveries with the group.

This morning, however, my husband wasn't feeling well, so that meant one of two things. Either I could not attend the prayer group, or I could take my daughter with me. I chose the latter, and headed to our meeting with as best a positive attitude as I could muster up.

You know the rest of the story. My daughter was well behaved for the first hour, but after that, she was done. Nothing was pleasing her. Not Cherrios, not cheese, nothing. I ended up leaving early and feeling frustrated that my once-a-month time with my friends was cut short. And then the Lord reminded me, "Some of a thing is better than none of a thing, Robyn." This has been a saying that He has been reminding me of a lot lately, and I have to admit, it has taken me a while to get used to this idea. I've been a mom now for 14 months, and just now I'm learning that with children comes sacrifice. Actually, I've been experiencing that for the past 14 months, but I think I am now just growing accustomed to it . I have learned this lesson and am now making it part of my thought process. And as a teacher I know that that is true learning.

But it's okay because Elizabeth is worth the sacrifice. She is worth missing part of my prayer group. She is worth missing part of my cousin's wedding because she wanted to run around during the ceremony. She is worth not having been to a movie in over a year. She is worth it all to me, and as I drove away this morning, my pity party turned into a rejoicing party, thanking the Lord for the little blessing that is now fast asleep in her carseat. So today the sacrifice may have been time with my friends, but at least I got an hour with them. That's better than none.

The "C" in Robyn C. Liskey

2007-07-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

I have always been proud of my middle initial. I make sure I include it in every signature I make, whether it's on a check, a timecard, or an important document. I love the "C" in my name because the "C" stands for "Cheryl", and that's my mom's name.

This is my mom. Many people have commented to me how beautiful she is. One friend told me she was "well preserved." At 62 years old, I think she looks great, and I pray that when I am her age, I will look just as good.

But for those who know my mom, they know that her outside beauty is simply a reflection of her inside beauty. My mom is one of the most giving, selfless people I know. She put aside her dreams and desires to raise my sister and I until it was convenient for her to go back to school. She is a nurse by trade, but she takes care of so much more. In addition to taking care of our family, for the past 16 years, she took care of an elderly woman, bringing her meals, taking her to doctor's appointments, sorting out her financial life, decorating her house for Christmas. You name it, my mom did it for Antoinette. Just a few months ago Antoinette passed away, and although there was a great burden lifted from my mom's shoulders, I can tell she misses the woman she has taken care of for the last 16 years. By nature, she is a caretaker.

My mom and I had a strained relationship while I was in high school. I always thought we were opposites and that's why we didn't get along. It wasn't until recently that I realized we are very much the same, and that's probably why we didn't get along. One of the best decisions my husband and I made was inviting my mom into the delivery room when Elizabeth was born. It bonded us in a new way that words cannot describe. I'm so glad she was there and that we can share in this motherhood thing together.

I could go on and on about my mom, as I'm sure so many of us could. But I'll end with this. The name Cheryl means "Beloved." I have been blessed to be hers for the past 33 years, and I hope she knows now that she is mine.

Outside of the Box

2007-07-12T22:34:00.000-07:00

My daughter is taking her first round of swim lessons this week. I say first round because I know that this is the first of many more weeks at the pool. But of course I am taking a million pictures because I want to capture every moment so that I can scrapbook it and remember it forever. By the end of the week, I'm sure I'll have over 100 pictures from swim lessons, and I will choose 6 to remember the whole week by.

This picture, though, tells the story of the week. Everytime I say to Elizabeth, "Okay, we're going to go underwater," she vigorously shakes her head "no". (This is a new development. I'm looking forward to her learning "yes" ASAP.) Being the forceful mother that I am, I then proceed to make her go underwater, and she comes up with this expression on her face. I LOVE THIS EXPRESSION! It's like, "Oh my goodness, I didn't want to do that but it was so much fun and I'm so glad I did it but don't make me do it again!"

It made me think of how my life is often like that. I am the safe one, the one who usually doesn't take any chances in life. I got straight A's, went to college, got my credential, became a teacher, married my husband, and bought a house all like I was supposed to. I go to church on Sundays, do the shopping on Mondays, clean the house on Tuesdays, and teach school on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays. I like my life like that. It is predictable, enjoyable, and, as I said before, safe. But every now and then (usually through the prompting of my riskier husband and definitely by the design of our Heavenly Father), I am pushed outside of my box. And you know what...I LOVE THIS FEELING! I love the rush that I feel when I first step out the box. I love the nervousness I experience as I anticipate what will happen that is beyond my control. I love the thrill of coming through whatever it is and realizing that everything is all right. I love it all, but I have to remind myself that I love it all when the next opportunity comes to step outside my box again.

God knew what he was doing when He paired me with Mike, my husband. He knew that Mike would put that expression on my face and cause me to say, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe I did that but it was so much fun and I'm so glad I did it!" And at 33 years old, I'm also learning to say, "And maybe I'll do it again!"

My First Blog

2007-07-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

OK. So here I go. Upon reading a friend of mine's blog, I was inspired to create my own and share my thoughts on life with the world. At first I thought no one would care to read my writings, but if you are reading this, obviously you do.

I have always enjoyed writing. As a teacher, I think writing is the key to learning. It allows us to process our thoughts and make concrete what we are thinking inside. I wish I could give my students more time to do this in class. Unfortunately, all they currently get is a spiral-bound notebook at the beginning of the year with the instruction, "If you have free time, feel free to write in your creative writing notebook. And if you want me to read it, place it on my desk at the end of the day." Sadly, I think only one student took advantage of that last direction. But that is for another blog.

As time goes on, you will meet my family, my friends, the people who make up the life I now live. I am not ashamed to say that I love my life currently! As a stay-at-home mom/part-time teacher, I feel I have the best of both worlds. God has blessed me with this opportunity at this time in my life, and I am so thankful for it.

So there it is. My first blog. It wasn't THAT hard! Now what will I write about next???