Elizabeth has developed a new little quirk. If she is drinking something and she spills, she will immediately get up, go to the drawer which holds the towels, pick out a towel, come back and wipe it up. I'm sure she does it because she's seen me do it hundreds of times in her life, but everytime she does it, it is so fascinating to watch. She's become my little cleaner-upper!
A friend of mine reminded me yesterday that God didn't create the mess that we are in currently. We did that all on our own. However, He will come along side us and help us clean up our messes and turn them into blessings somehow. He will be our cleaner-upper, and it will be just as fascinating to watch.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Ifs
Sometimes the "ifs" don't work out. On Monday I was set to go back to work part-time "if" my job-share partner agreed it was okay. And although she was 95% sure that it was okay, on Tuesday I found out that "if" was not going to happen. So now I am returning to the full-time work force with a heavy heart and a tumultous stomach.
Sometimes the "ifs" do work out, though. None of this would even be possible "if" we couldn't find childcare for my daughter. And yesterday, we did. In one day we found two nannies who can watch Elizabeth for the whole week. (They will have different days, not that Elizabeth needs two nannies to watch her at the same time.)
So who's in charge of the "ifs"? Obviously, it's God. And although I don't understand His answer to the "ifs", I trust Him completely. Because with God, there are no "ifs".
Sometimes the "ifs" do work out, though. None of this would even be possible "if" we couldn't find childcare for my daughter. And yesterday, we did. In one day we found two nannies who can watch Elizabeth for the whole week. (They will have different days, not that Elizabeth needs two nannies to watch her at the same time.)
So who's in charge of the "ifs"? Obviously, it's God. And although I don't understand His answer to the "ifs", I trust Him completely. Because with God, there are no "ifs".
Monday, August 27, 2007
U Turn
Sometimes God makes us do U-turns in our lives. I remember seeing a bumper sticker years ago that said, "If you're going the wrong way, God allows U-turns." Although I don't think I was going the wrong way, I do think God has led me on a U-turn today.
Two weeks ago, my husband and I made a decision together that I would take a leave of absence from my job and stay at home to take care of our daughter. He said financially we could make it. Well, yesterday, after going over our expense list for the umpteenth time, he came to me and said that we weren't going to make it. I have to tell you, this is not what I wanted to hear. And after many, many hours of tears and a very sleepless night, I woke up this morning knowing what I had to do. So I got on the phone and grovelled for my job back. It was humiliating, to say the least, but it is what God asked me to do, and so I had to put my pride up on the shelf and do it.
I'm still not sure what the Lord is doing, but I do know that He is in control. He is still my pilot, and I cling to that fact when I think about all of the other things that still need to fall in place. We still don't have childcare for my daughter. My job-share partner still needs to okay the whole situation. My district still needs to permit me to come back. There are a lot of "stills", but I trust that the Lord is "still" omniscient and "still" all-powerful.
Two weeks ago, my husband and I made a decision together that I would take a leave of absence from my job and stay at home to take care of our daughter. He said financially we could make it. Well, yesterday, after going over our expense list for the umpteenth time, he came to me and said that we weren't going to make it. I have to tell you, this is not what I wanted to hear. And after many, many hours of tears and a very sleepless night, I woke up this morning knowing what I had to do. So I got on the phone and grovelled for my job back. It was humiliating, to say the least, but it is what God asked me to do, and so I had to put my pride up on the shelf and do it.
I'm still not sure what the Lord is doing, but I do know that He is in control. He is still my pilot, and I cling to that fact when I think about all of the other things that still need to fall in place. We still don't have childcare for my daughter. My job-share partner still needs to okay the whole situation. My district still needs to permit me to come back. There are a lot of "stills", but I trust that the Lord is "still" omniscient and "still" all-powerful.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Small Victories
Today Elizabeth ate chicken for the first time. Not that she hasn't been given it before. Or not that she hasn't tried it before. But today she actually put it in her mouth, chewed it, swallowed it, and asked for another piece. I was so excited by this momentous occasion (up until now her diet has consisted of cheese, yogurt, peanut butter sandwiches, potatoes, and bananas), that I cheered so loud for her, you would have thought she was a movie star or something. She, of course, loved that and was encouraged to eat more. I think she ate a good third of my chicken breast, which I gladly gave up for the sole comfort that one more item of food has been added to her menu. To say the least, it was a big day!
I think this is how God reacts when I do something that He is proud of. Don't get me wrong...I know we are saved by grace and not acts, but I do think He gets excited when we do things that show we are walking by faith in Him. Like these latest decisions that my husband and I have had to make. As difficult as they were, I think perhaps the Lord was cheering loudly for us, just like we were cheering loudly for Elizabeth and her chicken. Yep, these small victories in life are huge in the eyes of any parent.
I think this is how God reacts when I do something that He is proud of. Don't get me wrong...I know we are saved by grace and not acts, but I do think He gets excited when we do things that show we are walking by faith in Him. Like these latest decisions that my husband and I have had to make. As difficult as they were, I think perhaps the Lord was cheering loudly for us, just like we were cheering loudly for Elizabeth and her chicken. Yep, these small victories in life are huge in the eyes of any parent.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Major Decisions
OK. So it's been a while since my last blog. The reason...well, let's just say I've had to make some major decisions in my life, and I just wasn't ready to blog about them yet. But now I am, so here it goes.
On July 25th, I found out that I was pregnant again. This was a shock and surprise to me, as I truly thought it was going to take us a while to conceive again (it took us almost two years to get pregnant with Elizabeth!) I waited until I was almost 5 days late before I even took a test, and the first test I took was an expired one. When it came back positive, I still didn't believe it and so I went to Rite Aid and bought the $17 pregnancy test. When it also came back positive, I figured it must be true, and so this story begins. I am currently 8 weeks along, and am feeling all of the joys of pregnancy, my nausea being the worst!
At about the same time that I found out I was pregnant, we were interviewing daycare providers for my daughter Elizabeth. With me working part-time, this has been a difficult search. We have gone down every avenue of daycare within the city of Orange: licensed daycares, unlicensed in-home daycares, looking on Craigslist.com, and finally nannies. We thought we had someone that was perfect, but when we offered her the job, she politely declined. And after the last nanny asked for $125 a day, I looked at my husband and started crying. It was clear what the Lord was telling us: I needed to stay home fulltime.
And of course, after you make a HUGE decision like that, the enemy starts attacking you, and that's exactly what he did to us. In the last week, I think I have shed more tears than I have all year (of course, some of that may also be from those lovely pregnancy hormones!) There were several hurdles to jump over once we made this decision, but after each hurdle the Lord has carried us over it and continually confirmed that this is His calling for me this year. Everyday I am feeling more and more confident of this decision for our family.
So, that's why I haven't been blogging. But guaranteed, I'm back and I'm looking forward to sharing more of my new life with you as I get the chance. Thanks for reading, and thanks for not giving up on me!
On July 25th, I found out that I was pregnant again. This was a shock and surprise to me, as I truly thought it was going to take us a while to conceive again (it took us almost two years to get pregnant with Elizabeth!) I waited until I was almost 5 days late before I even took a test, and the first test I took was an expired one. When it came back positive, I still didn't believe it and so I went to Rite Aid and bought the $17 pregnancy test. When it also came back positive, I figured it must be true, and so this story begins. I am currently 8 weeks along, and am feeling all of the joys of pregnancy, my nausea being the worst!
At about the same time that I found out I was pregnant, we were interviewing daycare providers for my daughter Elizabeth. With me working part-time, this has been a difficult search. We have gone down every avenue of daycare within the city of Orange: licensed daycares, unlicensed in-home daycares, looking on Craigslist.com, and finally nannies. We thought we had someone that was perfect, but when we offered her the job, she politely declined. And after the last nanny asked for $125 a day, I looked at my husband and started crying. It was clear what the Lord was telling us: I needed to stay home fulltime.
And of course, after you make a HUGE decision like that, the enemy starts attacking you, and that's exactly what he did to us. In the last week, I think I have shed more tears than I have all year (of course, some of that may also be from those lovely pregnancy hormones!) There were several hurdles to jump over once we made this decision, but after each hurdle the Lord has carried us over it and continually confirmed that this is His calling for me this year. Everyday I am feeling more and more confident of this decision for our family.
So, that's why I haven't been blogging. But guaranteed, I'm back and I'm looking forward to sharing more of my new life with you as I get the chance. Thanks for reading, and thanks for not giving up on me!
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