Tantrums

As Elizabeth has her daily tantrums, and as I patiently wait them out, wondering when this phase will be over, I wonder if this is how God views me when I'm having a tantrum. I don't always get my way, but I always want it. And when I do have my tantrums, does God just sit there and think, "Oh, you big faker. Get up and move on with your life!" I doubt it. The Word tells us that He is a loving and compassionate God, and I have evidenced in my life times when He has comforted me the most, times when I have been throwing my own tantrums. Instead, He consoles me with His word, with the words of others who have been before me, and with the wisdom that He is in control of my life, not me. He does not look upon me with disdain or disbelief. He helps me to dry my tears, get back up, and move on with my life.

Thank you, Lord, that you are a better parent than I am. And thank you that I can learn about parenting from You.

Sweetness

It doesn't get any sweeter than this.

Tonight as I was putting Elizabeth down for bed, she sang her version of the song I always sing to her, "Jesus Loves Me." She only knew a few of the words, but it was so sweet to hear her try and sing along with me. My favorite parts were the big breaths she took before each verse started.

Thank you, Lord, for sweet moments like this.

Beware

Beware of what learning a lesson from God will do to you. Beware of thinking you have learned that lesson and that you can move on with your life. Beware of being overconfident in yourself and not in the Lord.

I was struck by the enemy this weekend. After coming to grips with my full-time working situation, I thought I was doing well. I blogged about it, I talked to friends about it, I was at peace about it. The enemy knew this and hit me in my Achilles heel, right when I wasn't looking. I won't go into major details, but basically I have been in a funk this weekend that resembled my old days of depression. Thankfully, only a few people had to deal with the fall-out from this (my husband and my mom), and praise God that today's sermon was the medication I needed to get out of this funk. I am better now, but I know that that won't last long if my eyes are not on the eternal prize.

Also, beware of Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Covered Pretzels. As good as they taste, they are not a satisfying solution to depression.

One Little Heartbeat at a Time

To all my mommy friends:

I dedicate the chorus of this incredible Steven Curtis Chapman song to you.

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, and you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

Happy Heart's Day!

Perspective

Sometimes I think the Lord gives us a small peek into His big plan. It isn't an overarching view allowing complete comprehension, but it is a keyhole that pacifies us until the complete plan can be revealed. He doesn't have to give it to us. He is God and He is Lord. We are not on a contract basis in which I trust Him only if He tells me what's going on. I trust Him because He is God and He is Lord, and if He chooses to give me some perspective on His plan, that is just icing on the cake, so to speak.

On Thursday I was given a little bit of perspective. After coming to peace with not being able to job share and letting go of that dream, I was informed that my current administrator is not allowing job shares on our campus. So even if I had tried to job-share at my present school, I would not be allowed to and would have to find another school to work at. Not an impossible task, but also not an easy task, especially with a 2 year old and a newborn at home.

So maybe God was protecting me. And maybe He has even greater plans for me than just job-sharing. Or maybe He doesn't, and He simply wants me to continue to trust Him. Either way, I'm thankful for the bit of perspective He has so graciously bestowed on me. It may be only 1/32 of the picture, but that's 1/32 more than what I had on Wednesday.

Charma

Elizabeth has developed a liking towards Parmesean cheese lately. "Charma, charma!" as she calls it. She will dip anything and everything into the pile of pale yellow dust-like particles: noodles, carrots, sandwich crusts, her fingers. I had to draw the line at pancakes, however. That was just a little too gross for me.

I'm not sure why she likes it. Perhaps it's the cheesy taste. Perhaps it's the novelty of dipping and being in control of her food. Or perhaps it's the fact that after she eats "charma", we have to get the vacuum (her very favorite toy!) out and clean it all up. I'm not sure which reason it is, but she loves it.

She loves "charma" unconditionally, without reservation, without reason. It doesn't matter what she eats it with; she loves it. It doesn't matter why she eats it; she loves it. I hate to connect everything to a higher meaning, but I sure wish I could love people the way Elizabeth loves "charma."

Do as the Occasion Demands

1 Samuel 10:7. "AND LET IT BE THAT WHEN THESE SIGNS COME TO YOU, THAT YOU DO AS THE OCCASION DEMANDS; FOR GOD IS WITH YOU."

My friend, Yvonne, shared this verse the other night at a girls' night out. It struck me and stuck with me. I love the part that says, "Do as the occasion demands." For me, what the occasion demands is for me to work full time next year. Although it is not what I want to do, it is what is required of me at this time. And I cling to the last part of the verse, "For God is with you." He is with me, He is with my daughter, and He will be with my new baby. As long as He is with us, we will be in the center of His will.

Hope this verse brings as much hope to you as it did to me. Thanks Yvonne!